I felt that too, Kathleen. It’s a rare gift when words can pierce the heart and act as a bridge at the same time. That 'wild grace' is exactly what keeps us moving forward.
Michael, your description of love as an 'act of defiance' is stunning. It’s exactly how I feel about finding one’s voice again—it’s a quiet but powerful rebellion.
This is a dreamy farmhouse. I live in SoCal (Indiana born) and long for an east coast farmhouse. Convincing my husband he can handle the winters has been unsuccessful to date. I'm still trying.
I loved this >> "I wasn’t decorating so much as negotiating—with the space, with my limitations, with my very strong desire to make things feel a certain way without always knowing how. Layer by layer, object by object, the house took shape. Or maybe more accurately: I did."
Stefanie, that quote resonated with me deeply too. There’s something so profound about how we shape ourselves while trying to fix the things around us. Whether it’s a farmhouse or a broken voice, the 'negotiation' is where we truly find who we are. Hope you get that farmhouse one day—winters and all!
So true, Electra. It’s that 'wilderness' of the creative process—the trial, the error, and the messy layers—that makes the final result so beautiful. Suleika captures that raw honesty perfectly.
Oh I love this!! Especially “A belief that beauty can be assembled slowly and imperfectly, that meaning can be layered in, that a life, like a room, doesn’t arrive fully formed.” I’ve been doing the same thing with my house, always rearranging and changing it, living within the limitations which so frustrate me! But your writing here is helping me make a bit of meaning from it. I’m grateful. 💚
Sarah, that realization that 'life doesn’t arrive fully formed' is so liberating. I’ve found that the same applies to our inner voice—sometimes we have to build it slowly, layer by layer, from the ashes of old criticisms. It’s in that 'imperfect assembly' where we finally find our true self. Thank you for sharing your gratitude.
I love your story of making a home! I've approached the same with no rules, except lots of books and artwork by family members, and photos in every room of my deceased best pal - my husband. Mementos from travels catch my eye, dreamily returning to Africa, Asia, Central America, Europe, So. America. My office walls are papered with "boosters": "If you fail, fail with lion-hearted fearlessness!" "I have all the time in the world!" (I'm 81 yo!) "Pursue joy with all your might!" A big room is my art studio, piano, NRP haven, plant kingdom, comfy corner, oak kitchen pantry, room for meetings, family & friends holiday meals. My bedroom has an big old white & brass bed, overstuffed reading chair, very old oak furniture, black currant bush out one window, flowers in a basket out another. Needless to say, the outdoors is endless flowers and fruit trees, even on this suburban quarter-acre. Heaven!
Thank you! I've been doing your Sunday prompts for several years - what a difference they make in my life - I'm so grateful! Also a faithful journalist, at this point in my life, mostly recording the process (physically, emotionally, mentally) of my "End Game."
I love these insights and the architecture you bring to yourself and the home- Home is of primal importance to me - living nearly 37 years in an old Upper Bucks County farmhouse - with a parade of English Labradors and their toenail scratches marking the old long-leaf pumpkin pine flooring. I would not scrub those scars out for the world - so why is dealing with my 15 inch mastectomy scar healing but not completely cured yet- any different?? I'm working on this...and was recently reminded during a counseling session of the radically transformative (and not at all western mindset) Japanese practice of Kintsugi- something I'm exploring...
Melinda, your words brought tears to my eyes. There is such a profound truth in how we cherish the 'scars' of our homes while struggling to embrace the ones on our own skin. The image of the long-leaf pine floor and the mastectomy scar is hauntingly beautiful. I also write about 'broken words' and 'bridges,' and I believe your journey toward Kintsugi is exactly that: turning the fracture into a gold-filled path. You are not just healing; you are becoming a masterpiece of resilience. Thank you for your bravery in sharing this. 🤍
Oh, Suleika! This writing resonated with me. I love that you are so much younger than I, and yet, we have common experiences that we respond to in similar fashion. I find it especially intriguing and encouraging that you do not seem to be taken by a need to appear perfect, to have perfect possessions, and to show it all off. We all like nice things, but they’re just things. And putting together the collected things of separate and then joined lives is an interesting challenge, isn’t it? Thank you for making me smile as I remember making homes back when and wherever. Keep on keeping on. You’re amazing.
This is so lovely—thank you! I love what you said about “the collected things of separate and then joined lives”—that’s exactly the puzzle, isn’t it? I’m so glad it brought back those memories for you
Wow! What a generous article! A wonderful story filled to the brim with beautiful phrases and paragraphs and fully fleshed out with the photographs. You really are brimming with writing and visual talents
Your spaces always reflect not just your artistic sense but also a broad cultural experience, curiosity and resourcefulness. And then add to that a story shared in your engaging, humorous way! Thank you for brightening and cold gloomy April afternoon!
So many notes... firstly I need a fireplace scarf now.
Second, I wrote last last year about the agony of home design content online. And you line about 22 year olds with zero carpentry skills really hit for me. Why does it feel like everyone is renovating or pouring so much funds into these projects. Is it for the sake of content or for the sake of living?
Third, really happy this post popped up for me today, I just finished a draft I am sending tomorrow about our journey of making and finding a home in an unexpected place and time. So this is timely and I love the conversation around home. Thank you for sharing xx
I love how you created such a warm and welcoming home for you and Jon with your furbabies. Calm quiet moments...calm quiet movements...to a blessed loving union of two beautiful souls.
Suleika, every sentence of this latest essay brought more smiles and joy. Thank you for taking us on the journey of your charming cottage creation. A glorious accomplishment! I also looked up the Garden and Gun feature article of your cottage. More smiles, more joy and then….I literally burst into tears at “we handed over the keys.” I, too have know the joy and sting of putting one’s heart and soul into a home just to leave it one day. At 74 I have done this more than a few times. But now I’m six years settled into my favorite home of all, a 1790 New England cottage. Not so much Ralph Lauren but more like Cinderella’s attic complete with drafts, creaking floors and furry critters. But I love it. The previous owners spent 45 years remodeling the house and planting lush English gardens that unfold dramatically like the acts of a play every spring. So, like you and Jon, they left the most glorious gift in their wake for the next stewards to treasure.
This is so beautiful—“Cinderella’s attic” with a garden that unfolds like a play… I can picture it perfectly. I too love the idea of homes being passed from one set of hands to another, each adding something of themselves—what a gift to be part of that lineage
Ah, cutting boards! I have four, just for their company, on my work table and another two next to my spot in the family room. I am irresistibly drawn to wood, the more deeply colored the better.
With deep admiration and taking inspiration in your ability to “go with it” - just because you feel the pull, it feels right - even when in truth, you don’t know anything for sure at all! 💙🌀💙
Love everything about this. I see a home as an alchemy of our imagination and creativity combined with the natural rhythm and energy of the spaces within. The design becomes the evolution of what we see in our mind's eye aligning with what the rooms somehow need to be. Old houses have stories to tell within their walls, which I find so lovely and compelling at the same time. When someone has the natural instinct and beautiful spirit that you possess, Suleika, I believe you are honoring the history of your home with grace and appreciation for this. How wonderful. I look forward to future musings.
A brilliant, beautiful reflection on building a home together. Love is an act of defiance, wild grace in motion, amendations of life together.
"Wild grace in motion" captures beautifully Suleika's creative process. The words themselves pierced my heart.
I felt that too, Kathleen. It’s a rare gift when words can pierce the heart and act as a bridge at the same time. That 'wild grace' is exactly what keeps us moving forward.
Michael, your description of love as an 'act of defiance' is stunning. It’s exactly how I feel about finding one’s voice again—it’s a quiet but powerful rebellion.
A true creative mind!
This is a dreamy farmhouse. I live in SoCal (Indiana born) and long for an east coast farmhouse. Convincing my husband he can handle the winters has been unsuccessful to date. I'm still trying.
I loved this >> "I wasn’t decorating so much as negotiating—with the space, with my limitations, with my very strong desire to make things feel a certain way without always knowing how. Layer by layer, object by object, the house took shape. Or maybe more accurately: I did."
Stefanie, that quote resonated with me deeply too. There’s something so profound about how we shape ourselves while trying to fix the things around us. Whether it’s a farmhouse or a broken voice, the 'negotiation' is where we truly find who we are. Hope you get that farmhouse one day—winters and all!
So true, Electra. It’s that 'wilderness' of the creative process—the trial, the error, and the messy layers—that makes the final result so beautiful. Suleika captures that raw honesty perfectly.
Oh I love this!! Especially “A belief that beauty can be assembled slowly and imperfectly, that meaning can be layered in, that a life, like a room, doesn’t arrive fully formed.” I’ve been doing the same thing with my house, always rearranging and changing it, living within the limitations which so frustrate me! But your writing here is helping me make a bit of meaning from it. I’m grateful. 💚
The frustration is part of it, I think—the limits are what force the layering, the rearranging, the noticing. I’m so glad it resonated ♥️
Yes, so true! The way you say that reminds me that this is good practice for life. 💚
Sarah, that realization that 'life doesn’t arrive fully formed' is so liberating. I’ve found that the same applies to our inner voice—sometimes we have to build it slowly, layer by layer, from the ashes of old criticisms. It’s in that 'imperfect assembly' where we finally find our true self. Thank you for sharing your gratitude.
I love your story of making a home! I've approached the same with no rules, except lots of books and artwork by family members, and photos in every room of my deceased best pal - my husband. Mementos from travels catch my eye, dreamily returning to Africa, Asia, Central America, Europe, So. America. My office walls are papered with "boosters": "If you fail, fail with lion-hearted fearlessness!" "I have all the time in the world!" (I'm 81 yo!) "Pursue joy with all your might!" A big room is my art studio, piano, NRP haven, plant kingdom, comfy corner, oak kitchen pantry, room for meetings, family & friends holiday meals. My bedroom has an big old white & brass bed, overstuffed reading chair, very old oak furniture, black currant bush out one window, flowers in a basket out another. Needless to say, the outdoors is endless flowers and fruit trees, even on this suburban quarter-acre. Heaven!
I love that your home is filled with memory, music, and a little bit of wildness—and those “boosters” are everything!
Thank you! I've been doing your Sunday prompts for several years - what a difference they make in my life - I'm so grateful! Also a faithful journalist, at this point in my life, mostly recording the process (physically, emotionally, mentally) of my "End Game."
Cheers and love, Gloria (I meant NPR!)
I love these insights and the architecture you bring to yourself and the home- Home is of primal importance to me - living nearly 37 years in an old Upper Bucks County farmhouse - with a parade of English Labradors and their toenail scratches marking the old long-leaf pumpkin pine flooring. I would not scrub those scars out for the world - so why is dealing with my 15 inch mastectomy scar healing but not completely cured yet- any different?? I'm working on this...and was recently reminded during a counseling session of the radically transformative (and not at all western mindset) Japanese practice of Kintsugi- something I'm exploring...
Melinda, your words brought tears to my eyes. There is such a profound truth in how we cherish the 'scars' of our homes while struggling to embrace the ones on our own skin. The image of the long-leaf pine floor and the mastectomy scar is hauntingly beautiful. I also write about 'broken words' and 'bridges,' and I believe your journey toward Kintsugi is exactly that: turning the fracture into a gold-filled path. You are not just healing; you are becoming a masterpiece of resilience. Thank you for your bravery in sharing this. 🤍
Thank you Palabra, your thoughtful comment means a lot to me-
You made me think of the song by Leonard Cohen….the crack is how the light gets in??
Perhaps a metaphor for the scar?
Wishing you well.
Thank you Alyson, it's a process for sure! I'm a long-time poet and this has a wild (and right now productive) ride!!
Oh, Suleika! This writing resonated with me. I love that you are so much younger than I, and yet, we have common experiences that we respond to in similar fashion. I find it especially intriguing and encouraging that you do not seem to be taken by a need to appear perfect, to have perfect possessions, and to show it all off. We all like nice things, but they’re just things. And putting together the collected things of separate and then joined lives is an interesting challenge, isn’t it? Thank you for making me smile as I remember making homes back when and wherever. Keep on keeping on. You’re amazing.
This is so lovely—thank you! I love what you said about “the collected things of separate and then joined lives”—that’s exactly the puzzle, isn’t it? I’m so glad it brought back those memories for you
Wow! What a generous article! A wonderful story filled to the brim with beautiful phrases and paragraphs and fully fleshed out with the photographs. You really are brimming with writing and visual talents
Your spaces always reflect not just your artistic sense but also a broad cultural experience, curiosity and resourcefulness. And then add to that a story shared in your engaging, humorous way! Thank you for brightening and cold gloomy April afternoon!
This is all so beautiful! You have such a wild and free sense of taste and design. I am delighted just looking at the pictures! 🙏🏻💗
So many notes... firstly I need a fireplace scarf now.
Second, I wrote last last year about the agony of home design content online. And you line about 22 year olds with zero carpentry skills really hit for me. Why does it feel like everyone is renovating or pouring so much funds into these projects. Is it for the sake of content or for the sake of living?
Third, really happy this post popped up for me today, I just finished a draft I am sending tomorrow about our journey of making and finding a home in an unexpected place and time. So this is timely and I love the conversation around home. Thank you for sharing xx
I love how you created such a warm and welcoming home for you and Jon with your furbabies. Calm quiet moments...calm quiet movements...to a blessed loving union of two beautiful souls.
Peace be with you ❤️ 🙏
My husband and I have moved a lot. I’ve found it takes 3 years for things to finally settle in place.
Thank you, Irene! I still have 2 years to go (on our 4th home). 😁
Suleika, every sentence of this latest essay brought more smiles and joy. Thank you for taking us on the journey of your charming cottage creation. A glorious accomplishment! I also looked up the Garden and Gun feature article of your cottage. More smiles, more joy and then….I literally burst into tears at “we handed over the keys.” I, too have know the joy and sting of putting one’s heart and soul into a home just to leave it one day. At 74 I have done this more than a few times. But now I’m six years settled into my favorite home of all, a 1790 New England cottage. Not so much Ralph Lauren but more like Cinderella’s attic complete with drafts, creaking floors and furry critters. But I love it. The previous owners spent 45 years remodeling the house and planting lush English gardens that unfold dramatically like the acts of a play every spring. So, like you and Jon, they left the most glorious gift in their wake for the next stewards to treasure.
This is so beautiful—“Cinderella’s attic” with a garden that unfolds like a play… I can picture it perfectly. I too love the idea of homes being passed from one set of hands to another, each adding something of themselves—what a gift to be part of that lineage
Ah, cutting boards! I have four, just for their company, on my work table and another two next to my spot in the family room. I am irresistibly drawn to wood, the more deeply colored the better.
With deep admiration and taking inspiration in your ability to “go with it” - just because you feel the pull, it feels right - even when in truth, you don’t know anything for sure at all! 💙🌀💙
Love everything about this. I see a home as an alchemy of our imagination and creativity combined with the natural rhythm and energy of the spaces within. The design becomes the evolution of what we see in our mind's eye aligning with what the rooms somehow need to be. Old houses have stories to tell within their walls, which I find so lovely and compelling at the same time. When someone has the natural instinct and beautiful spirit that you possess, Suleika, I believe you are honoring the history of your home with grace and appreciation for this. How wonderful. I look forward to future musings.